Greece, 1997

Unfortunately coinciding with our arrival in Athens, the Greek god Boreas brought the meltemi, the strong northerly wind that sweeps the mainland. This chilled the air and stirred the sea and so delayed our departure to the islands of Paros, Naxos and Santorini. But several days of clear skies, fine sea views, good food and no tourists made the trip worthwhile. I especially enjoyed the museums and ancient monuments of Athens, giving new life to my university Art History 101 knowledge.

Germany/Austria/Hungary/Slovakia/Czech Republic, 1996

Palling with Paul throuth Teutonic lands

This was my first trip with Paul. We happened to have the same vacation time, he was headed to Norway and I to Rome but there were complications. So at the last minute we decided to vacation together and quickly planned a whirlwind tour of Munich, Salzburg, Vienna, Budapest and Prague — in 10 days!

To our amazement it all came together and on October 13 our adventure began: we laughed, played, drank and sang our way all through these incredible cities. Hungary and the Czech Republic were breaking out of their Soviet shell with vigor; those were trying yet exciting times for the locals we met. Prague was especially beautiful and vibrant, the Velvet Revolution still palpable and with capitalism plunging forward.

Budapest was struggling more; we encountered a largely listless populace resigned to a wildly fluctuating prices, crumbling buildings and rusty Soviet public transport. We viewed an overcast Slovakia through our train window as we sipped hazy weissbiers and communicated clumsily with our fellow travelers just emerging from the other side of the Iron Curtain.

In Prague we happened to lunch with playwright and then-1st President of the Czech Republic Václav Havel. A man of the people, he preferred to eat in local pubs and so by coincidence we all chose the same locale that day. He was courteous and lighthearted, chatting with other diners in Czech and with us in English and he departed wishing us a pleasant trip. A surreal experience!

This trip is significant in another way: October 13 marks our anniversary. I consider it the genesis of our lives together as more than just pals. Why this trip? Previously I was protective of my travel time and preferred to journey solo. But after 10 days of marvelous fun together I discovered that Paul is an awfully good companion. I was sold.

Spain, 1990-1991

Tarjeta de estudiante

I spent my junior year in Madrid as part of Wesleyan University’s study abroad program. I was a young man in Europe, establishing a life in a new continent, loving the beautiful language and culture and sensuality of Spain. My experience was overwhelmingly positive but I often felt alone in Madrid, lost perhaps in a bustling metropolis in a foreign land, but each day I discovered new things about myself and my confidence grew steadily.

Change was in the European air: Spain was progressing at breakneck speed a mere decade after Franco’s despotic fascism loosed its death grip on democracy, the culture and economy a whirlwind. The Maastricht Treaty was in the works, promising full European Union economic integration. The Iron Curtain was crumbling, mass migrations were straining every border. There was war in Iraq, US fighter jets landing at Torrejón Air Base and tanks on the streets of Madrid. In the spring I suffered the most extreme personal tragedy I had known. I was on the move constantly, visiting every corner of the Iberian Peninsula and much of the Continent. I was restless, emotionally and intellectually hungry, and my identity was changing too; in Madrid I found enormous courage to finally accept my sexuality. I came home from Spain stronger, grown.

I have returned to Spain countless times since that first year. While it continues to change, Madrid always feels like home.